It’s the last day of the year, and I guess this post is pretty apt to bid it adieu. To fully close this chapter, to truly move on and move forward. So here it is, the last part of this throwback series—a letter to my 25-year old self…
I’ll skip the pleasantries this time, I know you’re in no mood for such. Given your blank eyes with a semi-hint of an icy glare, I think it’s best to get to the point. I know for a fact that you are not fine at this time. I am your 30-year old self and I’ve seen right through you. You are not fine. Despite the I’m-doing-well spiel you’ve told over and over to others and to yourself, the wounds from this season would tell otherwise.
It was a difficult decision to make. There were uncertainties and risks to consider. Still, you took a step of faith. It was exhilarating at first. It made you feel so brave and bold and alive. But when that thing that you were believing for didn’t push through, your faith started to dwindle. You started to question yourself. Then you started to question God, and that’s when it really spiralled down. You don’t want to admit it at this time, because it does sound blasphemous to say so, but you’re disappointed with God. You feel like He has abandoned you, that He made a fool out of you, that He has hurt you. You feel like God has offended you so you want to shut Him out. Still, something deep inside is trying to remind you that He is good and that He is faithful. Amidst the shouts of hurt is that gentle whisper of His love.
It seems bleak at this point, but believe me when I say that breakthrough will come. Healing will come, and restoration will come. Oh just you wait and see, God will do amazing things! The things that you have sown in faith, you will surely reap by His faithfulness. Faith, my dear, is never in vain. For we have a God who hears, a God who sees, a God who feels. The best thing about putting your faith in Him is that you can be assured that He only has the best for you.
I can see you’re trying to hold those tears from falling down your eyes. Don’t. Let them fall, let it all out. As you grab that box of tissue, let me encourage you with this: God will get you through this. Even at your lowest point when you would want to let go of your faith, He will not let you. God will never let go. He continues to woo you and defend you. That’s how much He loves you.
A couple more things you ought to take note of for future reference: first, take heed of wisdom’s call. Take it alongside faith. Take it in its different forms such as God’s word and godly counsel. Second thing to take note of is humility. Pride will only fertilize offenses. Better to come broken before the Lord and learn from your mistakes. And third, don’t be cornered by isolation. Don’t stop being in fellowship with people. Meet with them, pray with them, spend time with them. You’ll be surprised how much it helps.
So go on, get your faith on. Be strong and courageous. Don’t let one season define you. God isn’t done writing your story, so hold on tight. The best is yet to come!💕